What can I do?
by Galacticmoonwolf
Summary: The user had tampered with the files to reset everything to how it was before, without deleting their progress or the game and reinstalling it. This had caused it all to go back but Monika remembers what she did. What will happen now? How can she redeem herself to people who don't remember the pain she put them through? Rated T for triggering topics. Spoilers ahead so play the game
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Heyo, Gally here. I got into this game and I had to write something about it. Now as I said in the** **description** **there are spoilers due to it being after the game. Now I do not own Doki Doki Literature Club (DDLC) or anything in the game. See you next chapter my awesome peeps ^_^**

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Monika sighed as she looked out the classroom window. Why was she here? How was she here? She was deleted by the user, well it was clear somehow they had tampered with the files and make it so everything was like it was before she ever tampered with the files. They hadn't returned and that did hurt her a little, but she supposed it was for the best. All the damage she did, all because she loved him, or her. She really didn't know anything about the user and it made her smile sadly, if only she could have gotten to know them better.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the bell went off, it was time for piano practice. She smiled a little as she picked up her bag and walked out of the room, ignoring all the looks she got. Monika was admired by many of the males in the school, she couldn't say the same though. She didn't see the point in it all, this was all a game after all. This was all one's and zero's. She could delete this if she wanted to, however Monika couldn't bring herself to do it again, not after last time. She walked until she had reached the music room and sat down at the familiar piano. Brushing against the keys she began playing the one song she was familiar with, she played it more than enough. She couldn't hold herself back, she had begun singing to the quiet as she played.

"Every day, I imagine a future where I can be with you. In my hand is a pen that will write a poem of me and you. The ink flows down into a dark puddle. Just move your hand - write the way into his heart! But in this world of infinite choices. What will it take just to find that special day? What will it take just to find that special day?

Have I found everybody a fun assignment to do today? When you're here, everything that we do is fun for them anyway. When I can't even read my own feelings. What good are words when a smile says it all? And if this world won't write me an ending. What will it take just for me to have it all?

Does my pen only write bitter words for those who are dear to me? Is it love if I take you, or is it love if I set you free? The ink flows down into a dark puddle. How can I write love into reality? If I can't hear the sound of your heartbeat. What do you call love in your reality? And in your reality, if I don't know how to love you. I'll leave you be." Monika had teared up a little as she played the last few notes, wiping her eyes once she was done. She had heard clapping noises as she looked to the door, everyone from the club was there, looking at her in awe as if she played the most beautiful song.

"Monika, that was amazing!" Sayori began saying as she walked in the room and pulled her into a hug. It made Monika feel even worse, she had hurt Sayori to drive her to suicide, tampering with the game codes to make her hang herself. She didn't deserve to be shown this level of kindness, not that she could change this.

"I guess it was okay." Natsuki smiled. She liked the song but in typical Natsuki fashion she couldn't just admit it straight out, but she wasn't going to be mean about it. She could see the emotion put behind it and like the others could see there was more to the lyrics than what some would see. They were part of a literature club after all.

"I think it was perfect for you." Yuri smiled as she spoke in her usual soft tone. How was it Monika had good friends? She was not a good person after all. She assumed it was a punishment for how she treated them all, how she neglected her friends for the user. All because of jealousy, all because she was not programmed with a route, she was alone and she needed to accept it.

"Thank you everyone. I've just begun learning the piano so it's nice to get feedback." Monika put on a smile, of course it was a false smile, but the members caught onto it, they just didn't say anything about it. Sayori took a step back smiling at Monika as she stood with the other two. It was something Monika envied, how they could be so ignorant about the world and who they were.

"Just began? You couldn't have, you must have been practising for a thousanmillion years." Sayori meant it as a compliment but she was met with a small smack to the head by Natsuki.

"That's not a real word Sayori, besides it wasn't that amazing. It was another love song." She rolled her eyes as she was met with a pouting Sayori mumbling excuses.

"If I may, I think the lyrics were more than a love song." Yuri smiled Monika's way. "Isn't that right Monika?"

"Well kind of. It's complicated really. It's about a girl trapped in another world and she wants to be with someone who she can never be with. She could only be with them if she changes the world around her to destroy it all only leaving her." She smiled sadly as she told the story. "It ends with her accepting she could never be with them and she allows herself to be erased for the person she loves."

"It is quite a tragedy." Yuri pointed out as she observed the other, she seemed sad? It didn't make sense to Yuri however like the others she was concerned.

"It sounds dull to me. Why couldn't she be with him?" Natsuki looked at Monika as she waited for an answer to her question.

"Because there was no route. It wasn't written to her character, she was made to be in the background. The person she loved however could be with anyone around her and with her friends. All she could do was watch from a distance." Monika sighed as she looked away, needing to wipe her eyes again, she was just too emotional over this. Why couldn't she just forget it ever happened?

"Well that's mean to happen to her. I think she deserves the love, I mean if I was in that position I would use my charms to get the love." Sayori smiled as she laughed. "I couldn't just leave the person I love alone, I wouldn't leave the opportunity hanging." Bad choice of wordings. Monika's smile became more forced as she nodded. Monika felt her stomach knot together, she couldn't shake off the guilt. The more she was around everyone the more she just wanted to say something, anything. She couldn't though. They wouldn't believe her and even if they did they would hate her. Quite rightfully so though, especially when she had caused them all to die in one way or another.

"Well we all have our paths Sayori." Monika settled on saying, her voice strained to sound upbeat and happy, it was at this the rest of them couldn't keep pretending that everything was fine.

"Look we can tell something's wrong, tell us. We're all friends right?" Natsuki interjected with a look mixing concern and a glare together.

"I don't know what you're talking about Natsuki, I'm fine." Monika laughed nervously, she tried to pretend everything was fine. That was okay and she wasn't hurting and in a state of constant guilt.

"Natsuki is right, we're worried about you. You don't need to lie to us." Yuri smiled as she spoke in her usual soft tone. She was usually so quiet and it shocked Monika to hear all this from all of them. Even more so when she tampered with Yuri's files making her possessive and also aggressive in a way to others. Not to mention making her stab herself, that was very unpleasant. More so as the user had to see it happen as well as everything else they had to witness.

"If you don't tell us then we'll keep asking until you do." Sayori pouted as she encased the other in a hug again.

"Sayori, that is a little extreme. We won't keep pestering you if you're not ready to tell us yet but we would like for you to tell us." Yuri interjected, keeping her calm exterior.

"Please Yuri, Sayori is right. We have to keep asking her. It's not right to keep something locked away when it hurts, trust me on this one. It's better if she told us." Natsuki interrupted the shy girl. She turned Monika's way as she held a concerned glare. "So tell us what's wrong."

""̸̼̲̯͖̠́̑̇͊̎̀́̚Ȉ̴͎̲̋́͌ ̶̡͇̍c̸͕̦̖̲͗̔̑͛̾̇͆͘ă̴͙͇̲̳̪̄̀̑͋͗͠n̸͕͓̜̉̔̒̈̌'̷̻̲̦͊͑̎̚͜͝ţ̶͔̞̒ͅ ̴̢͙͓̠͙̫̘̬̎̈́ṱ̸̰͔̤͖̫́̑͐̎̈̒e̷̖̰̲̼͓͒́̉̌͒́͜͝͝l̵͔̖͛̊̃̋́͘͘͝l̵̨͌ ̴͉̹̟̤͖̻̳̑ẙ̷̲̂́̊͛͋̚õ̸̻̥͓̋͒͛͆̿̏ù̴̧͉̻͓̠̲̖́̌̉̍̊̿͐.̵̗͍̩̼̦̻̳̪͑̉̍̎̔͘"̴̧̱͇̼̦̳͚̃̈̅̒̕͠" Monika looked away. Her voice glitched, she glitched. She looked at the other three girls who looked at her as if something was wrong. She froze up, how could she talk her way out of this? It was clear even if everything was back, if she was back that she was still buggy. She wasn't meant to be here and her existence was messing with the code. Monika closed her eyes as she sighed, looking into the game files. Nothing was broken but her character coding. She sighed in relief, no one but her was going to experience glitches…hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Heyo! I'm back with the second chapter. I can't thank you guys enough for how you all** **enjoyed the first chapter. Now here you have chapter two DUN DUN DUUUUNNN. Anyways let me know in the review who you would like to see Monika pair with. Maybe you might get a shot at seeing it happen who knows? Well I do but that's besides the point. Disclaimer I do not own Doki Doki Literature Club. See you next chapter my awesome peeps ^_^**

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The other girls looked at Monika, all speechless as to what happened. Their friend had defied all laws of physics and her body just moved into several parts then back again to make her body. Not to mention her voice had become distorted as well, making it harder to understand her. The quietness lasted for a while until Natsuki cleared her throat.

"Are we just going to pretend nothing happened or what? It's hard to tell with the silence." She spoke with an uncertainty but nevertheless, she wanted to lighten the mood a little. The others looked at her stunned but caught onto the fact that they couldn't remain quiet forever.

"I do have to admit, I am curious as to what happened Monika." Yuri chimed in, she was concerned and yet intrigued at the same time.

"Nothing happened okay." Monika shook her head, she couldn't believe she glitched, she let her friends see the broken mess her coding was, not that she had a choice in the matter. She did the one thing she could think of doing, Monika fled the area. She ran into the one place she was most familiar with, she headed into the clubroom. She closed the door behind her and placed a chair under the handle, she wanted some time alone to process what happened.

Monika closed her eyes as she tried to sense if the user was on, unfortunately they were not, she would know anyways so that was a pointless thing to try. If the user was on then that person in place for them would be around the school, was that stand in called? She could recall it once being Alexis, however she knew better. The user was called something different, not that she had any use dwelling on it. She found it amusing though that the user played another character with a different name instead of trying to be themselves. Well, not everyone was a self-aware game character.

She sat herself in one of the chairs as she thought of why the user wanted her around. She would have thought they would keep her deleted, after all she did put them through a lot and deleted the others, in return forcing the user to choose her ultimately. She had an idea in place, she opened up the files again and into one of her previous notes she left, she could use this to communicate with them. If they ever did look at the files again that was. She titled it as important. The note she left was:

 _User, I see you played this game as I did, tampering with the codes. Resetting it all without deleting the game is something, but why did you do it? I don't understand why you would want me to return. Please User, if you see this respond in the document and I'll reply back. We can be together this way, I don't mind if I can't see you, Alexis was only a false imagery after for you to be in the game. I can never see you and I understand that._

Monika closed the files as she just began looking at the front, what can she do now? How can she face everyone as she was? Another thing that amused her was that she may be unimportant and in the background when the user was here, when they weren't here however, she was important. She had interactions with many and also not to mention she was the president of the club. Not like she could allow anyone to take her position, she couldn't risk anyone else becoming aware.

She stood up as she heard knocks on the door, it was her club members. Monika looked at her friends from the window and sighed, why couldn't they leave her alone? She was getting more attention than she wanted, maybe it was good that she was in the background. Monika walked to the door and pulled the chair away, opening the door to the three of them looking at her with concerned looks.

"I'm sorry, I just didn't know what else to do." Monika smiled with a small amount of guilt.

"It's fine, sometimes when the situation becomes over bearing we need a break." Yuri smiled as she held her soft tone, as to not push her.

"Thank you, I think you all deserve an explanation. I didn't think I would have to so I don't know how and I don't really want to tell you." She laughed a little weakly. Monika really didn't want to tell them any of the things that happened but they did deserve to know after all. Especially if she were to glitch again.

"If you don't want to tell us you don't have to." Sayori spoke as she looked at the other, sitting down at one of the tables, like the rest of them. They all sat near Monika but all of them were on separate tables.

"No, you deserve to know…all of you…" Monika took a deep breath as she told them everyone what had happened and what she had done. Of course the others gave a look of both denial and also fear. Even if they had a tough time believing any of this they did still fear what Monika did and what she could be capable of.

"You…expect us to believe you?" Natsuki spoke with a sour tone, she didn't want to believe her friend would do any of that, to drive them insane to the point of death and delete them.

"I know it's a lot to take in but it's the truth. I hoped I could go without telling you all but I had to, especially since you saw me glitch. I'm not even meant to be here! I'm supposed to be out of the game codes but here I am." Monika looked away with a guilty look as she sighed.

"I believe you." Yuri held a look of sympathy as she took a step forward to Monika. "You won't try any of that again will you? Deleting us I mean."

"No. I've come to my senses. Besides the user isn't coming back, they've been gone for a while now anyway." Monika sighed as she met Yuri's concerned gaze. Yuri smiled a little to the other.

"I see, then we have no need to fear anything." Yuri looked to the others in the room giving a look of disbelief to Yuri, they couldn't guess how easily she could both believe and forgive Monika. "Everyone, Monika is still our friend. We can't just throw it away for something that happened in another time."

"Yuri is right." Sayori spoke up quietly. She sighed a little as she looked at Monika, she didn't want to think that the other did any of it. However she couldn't just ignore it and she could understand it all, she didn't know why but she felt like Monika wasn't lying.

"Seriously you guys? Well they may forgive you but I don't. I'm just staying around because Sayori's here." Natsuki pouted. She wanted to get her head around this but she couldn't but she didn't want to be alone. So Natsuki decided that the best way for it was to stick with what was familiar, also it was a way she could protect the two other girls if Monika did anything to them. Also Natsuki did care about Monika a little, she did admit to the horrid things she did yet as Yuri said, she was their friend.

Monika smiled a little as she looked at the three, how could they be so understanding? Well she was glad anyways, she wasn't going to trade her friends for anyone else any time soon. Monika stood up as she was embraced with a hug by Sayori and then Yuri, Natsuki stood back.

"Thank you and if the user does come back. I promise, I won't trade you all away for them." She was being honest and sincere, she didn't want to harm her friends anymore. She needed to give up her

feelings for the user, someone she didn't know whereas she knew these girls. All she knew about the user was what was on their computer and that was all really, not much to go on.

"Well I believe you." Sayori smiled as she tightened her hug.

"Sayori, maybe you should loosen your grip." Yuri muttered quietly, she didn't need Monika being suffocated by it after all.

"Awee, okay Yuri." Sayori pouted as she loosened up a little, to Monika's relief. Monika looked Natsuki's way, it seemed she was smiling at her? So Natsuki did care a little about her after all. Monika should have guessed that, with how Natsuki was to showing emotions.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry guys for how late this chapter is and how short it is. I tried to make it longer however I am not feeling as well as I could so writing is hard for me at the moment however I tried to get this to you all as soon as I could so you don't have to wait any longer. With that said let's get into the fic. Disclaimer I do not own Doki Doki Literature Club. See you next chapter my awesome peeps ^_^**

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"Why? Why are you all forgiving me this easily?" Monika had to ask, she didn't know why her friends would after knowing. Sure Natsuki was still cold but it was hard to tell with a tsundere like her.

"We said why, you are our friend and you said you wouldn't try hurting us again." Sayori smiled as she let go of her and standing back.

"That and trying to take revenge does nothing to help anyone. I always believe in second chances." Yuri smiled a little, trying to be as comforting as possible towards the other.

"Well if it helps, I don't forgive you. I'm here to make sure you don't delete the others." Naatsuki crossed her arms.

"Come on Natuski, you can try to forgive her right? For me?" Sayrori made puppy eyes at Natsuki as she rolled her eyes. No one can say no to those eyes.

"Fine." She sighed.

Monika couldn't help but giggle a little as she observed the three. Even now she felt out of place, as if she didn't truly belong. She shook the idea out of her mind. Of course she belonged here, she was the club president after all.

"So why don't you hang with us! We're all going to mine!" Sayori beamed. Monika laughed however she sighed afterwards.

"I can see if I am able." She hesitated.

"Why, need your parents' permission?" Natsuki retorted.

"Well no. More of if the coding will allow me. I've been nowhere outside of the school." She explained. "Even if I can I'll most likely be in my school uniform as I have never had a route for the user."

"You can change it. If you were able to alter our coding, surely you can make yourself an outfit or something." Yuri thought about it and if Monika was able to change the coding so much as to make it so they were unlikeable or delete them, she should be able to alter herself a path or at least alter her character file. It was still much for Yuri to think about all this, the whole them in a game and nothing real but if it meant to help a friend she would try to accept it.

"If I could do that you don't think I would have tried that instead of deleting everyone to get the user?" Monika sighed.

"Well you could have left us alone to it you know and not delete us." Natsuki held a sour tone. Of course she would. Yes she cared for Monika as a friend however she could not get over how she deleted them all and changed their personalities to make them unlikeable. She had a tough time as it was with her natural tsundere personality, as some would call it. Most people stayed clear from her. Yes she picked it up from a manga but that was beside the point.

While this was happening Sayori looked as if she was miles away, and she had to sit herself down. As she was once the president of the club, she once knew everything and now she knew it again. What was worse was that the memories were coming back to her now. The memories she knew when she was president of the club. This caught the eye of Monika who walked to the other girl, the other two looking at them.

"Are you okay?" Monika asked, stupid question. Of course she wasn't. She was shaking, Monika silently cursed herself for asking a stupid question.

Sayori raised her hand and rubbed her throat a little and looked at Monika, for a moment fear was dominant in her gaze. "…You made me…" Her voice trailed off as she looked at everyone. "You hurt so many of us."

"I told you what I did. I told you I messed with the coding to make you all unlikeable to the user and then I deleted you."

"No, you didn't confess everything. I remember now. Maybe it's due to me once becoming the club president but I remember it all again. You only deleted us, well aside from Natsuki, when you made me and Yuri kill ourselves." Sayori's voice held something it never did. Pain and anger.

"Is this true?" Yuri raised a brow. Monika sighed, of course Sayori would remember everything. She had hoped that she could only tell them a vague sense as to what happened but nope, fate had to mess with her.

"Yes…" Monika sighed, not being able to lie any further. Sayori had tears threatening to fall despite the anger in her gaze and Natsuki took her side and helped her out of the room in a comforting hug. The only two people in the room were Yuri and Monika.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry this took so long to come out. You see I suffered from the horrible disease of...writers block. However I think I have some ideas now so it shouldn't take much longer for the next chapter...please don't quote me on that...anyways, as always I do not own Doki Doki Literature Club. See you next chapter my awesome peeps ^_^**

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Yuri looked at Monika with a look as if she was studying her with an analytical gaze. It certainly didn't help Monika feel less bad about herself about everything, she couldn't help but think back when she saw Yuri's lifeless body and with no remorse or anything she just deleted her. The thought popped into her head again, why did the user want her around still?

"How did I die?" Yuri asked, her gaze still studying Monika yet her voice was calm, too calm.

"You…I mean…I made you possessive over the user and you fought the changes very well, trying to keep to yourself but the changes drive you slowly insane until you stabbed yourself to death." Even though she regretted it, her voice tone made it seem casual, again it was because she had accepted it as soon as she did it, convincing herself it was the only way to get what she wanted.

"I see…" She trailed off in thought.

"Why don't you say something? Shout at me? I don't know something." Monika wanted some reaction that she felt she deserved. She did all these things, the other two had reactions she expected when they knew the whole story but Yuri wasn't reacting in any way and it made Monika unsettled.

"Because this is something that would happen in a novel. The villain controlling people against their will and driving them to insanity and even death. It's always my favourite books, maybe not so much to live inside one though." Yuri laughed softly. "However it has all been turned back and I can see you regret it. People are a lot like books you know, when you are familiar with them enough you can read in between the lines and know things that aren't shown."

"You said it yourself Yuri, I'm the villain." She sighed as she looked away from the eyes of the other.

"Not so. People call them villains yet I find them interesting. Some have their own motives but can grow worse due to power. I read a book where a boy started a war but because he was neglected by his father and had to leave home and thought that was the best option. Power overcame him and in the end he did the right thing to make up for what he did, costing his life." Yuri paused as she offered a small smile. "Like you. You haven't tried anything against us and you've changed."

"Real life isn't like a novel Yuri…"

"You'd be surprised at the similarities Monika. A good novel can help reflect on life at times and even now." It was rare to see Yuri this confident and passionate and it caught Monika off guard.

"Thank you…for giving me this chance." She smiled at Yuri, meeting her gaze. "Give me a second, I want to see if the user has replied to me…" As Yuri nodded Monika closed her eyes and reached into the files and went into the file she made with her message. As she thought, Alexis replied. Why? How? Well, she could just ask them. The message they replied with was:

 _Monika? I didn't think we could still talk, and yes I did hack the codes to bring you back. I don't know why, it just seemed wrong to kill you forever. You're aware and all and I didn't want to take it away. Sure you were a jerk, killing everyone and all and scaring me with the glitches. Not to mention I still can't get over Sayori…Still. I can't bring myself to kill you. Although please move on from me, I am not returning to the game, I only looked back into the files to see if anything changed by my hacking and I saw this. I might occasionally look into the files though, just in case. I don't want to risk the game becoming buggy._

A small smile spread on Monika, it wasn't joyous but a saddened smile. Of course she would need to get over the user but it was hard, especially when she was in their computer. She imagined a keyboard in front of her and began typing her reply underneath their own.

 _I understand Alexis…I mean user. You know I never did get to know your real name or anything about you. I know nothing about you and yet here I am…I suppose I should tell you what is happening here though since you aren't returning…Everyone knows now and it seems the only person that still likes me enough to talk to me is Yuri. Ironic isn't it. The one I made you watch over a weekend after she killed herself, is the one that likes me. Well, I guess it's what I deserve…Oh and I'm still practising piano I guess, so there's that familiar thing. Um, I guess we can talk later? As friends?_

Monika opened up her eyes and saw Yuri still looking at her. "What did he reply with? I can tell he must have as you were like that for a while." Yuri asked, of course using male pronouns, not knowing any other idea for the guy they all knew once. Monika nodded as she told the other what the user had said

"I see, so he really isn't coming back." Yuri didn't seem to care much for herself as she didn't remember, more so with sympathy for Monika. "At least you were able to talk to him."

Monika laughed a little although it was half hearted. "I guess that's true although I should move on. I know nothing about them, not even if they are a he. Not that I care, I loved them for who they were. Although we never really spoke." She admitted with a small laugh. It was odd now it dawned on her, she fell in love with someone who she can't see or talk to and this was the first contact she ever shared with them.

"I don't believe it to be so stupid of an idea. You loved them for how they acted, or the thought of what it could be like together." Yuri responded. "I wonder though, if you were able to talk to them, could you do anything else?"

Monika hummed in thought, could she? She never had tried it before but it could work. She held a finger up as she closed her eyes with a deep breath and tried to feel for something other than the game files. She opened them and was met with an odd screen. The menu screen. She knew of it, of course but never had seen it, she went to save, mentally, and saved it in another file. It seemed the game coding had saved for her just after she had admitted what she had done to them all. Why was she given this kind of power? She opened her eyes to be met with Yuri still.

"I can go to the games menu, although I haven't done anything there and I won't do anything with it." She lied. Monika guessed she should not say anything about her using the save options. It could cause a worry, however this was tempting her. Why was she given this? However another questioned ponded her. What could she do with this? Monika shook the thoughts away, no, she could not let herself become corrupted on power again.

"I see. Well I'll always be there for you Monika." Yuri smiled patiently. Then it dawned on her. Monika was now the protagonist, she had filled the slot in from the user. However this could not be right, she should be a character in the game. A voice inside her reminded her that no one has the AI that she developed. They never knew they were in a game until she said something about it, and even then Natsuki was in a slight stage of denial.

Monika decided that if she were now the protagonist, the others would be trying to get with her? Well she never did care for gender, just personalities. Could she even open up to her friends even if she knew that they were all just a bunch of one's and zero's. Forced to program set responses. Well

she would need to experiment if she were to go along with the thought. For now she decided she was content with her route now.

"Sounds great!" Monika smiled at Yuri, a pit in her stomach. Could she consider trying anything? No. She caused enough damage, but would it be playing with them if no one remembered? She had to think it through more if she even would try convincing herself to do it.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Heyo, another chapter in for you guys. As you can see I managed to do it without a long break yaay, do I get a medal now? Anyways I do not own Doki doki literature club. See you next chapter my awesome peeps ^_^**

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Monika hummed a tune as she tried to think of what to do. Thankfully she did not need to think of the thing to do, thanks to Yuri. "So, would you like to come around my home?" Yuri asked with a patient smile.

"Of course!" Monika never had been there, and was curious. She knew Yuri had nothing going on there like Natsuki did, or what she implanted for her, but she did know about the knives. The two walked to Yuri's house together, for once Monika enjoyed the sunlight outside and the birds singing. It was like more than just a bunch of numbers, yet a part of her had to think of it like that.

When they stopped outside the house, it was what Monika would have thought. It was a bungalow with white walls on the outside and a grey tiled roof. The sizes of the windows were varied and also it seemed to have a way to a back garden making it have both a front and back garden. Monika was impressed in all honesty, it was a nice house to live in. They both walked in and headed to Yuri's room.

The room had dark purple walls and a dark purple carpet also. There was a glass cabinet to the corner containing a collection of knives behind a safety glass. Her bed was a cabin bed, a desk was underneath and she had also a bookcase by the door. Her room was kept tidy however her desk under her bed was littered with paper.

"Apologies for the mess, I wasn't expecting to have anyone over today." Yuri smiled as she went to her desk and started cleaning her papers into a neat stack.

"No it's fine. It's a lovely room. Why haven't you invited us over before?" Monika asked out of pure curiosity as she wondered over to the knife cabinet. The sight of them sent a shiver up her spine, remembering the moment where Yuri had stabbed herself. Although despite that the knives were beautiful in their own way. There was six knives in the cabinet and all were different. However one knife caught Monika's eye. The knife had a blue handle but it was more of a darkened turquoise, with a marble looking effect. The blade was silver with wave patterns that entwined with each other

"Oh, well I never wanted to be thought of as too classy for everyone. I mean I am already seen as that by Natsuki at times but if I brought you all here I do believe it would become worse." Yuri explained as she glanced over to Monika by the knife cabinet. "Ah I see you found my…hobby. Please don't think less of me."

"No I don't. I mean, they do look lovely but why do you collect them?" Monika never knew why, not truly. All Monika knew was what she altered in Yuri's files and that was she wanted knives to hurt anyone that tries to get close to Alexis and the fact Monika gave Yuri the need to self-harm with knives.

"Well I just find them bittersweet. The handles are beautiful and elegant whereas the blade is sharp and deadly but in a way carries a swiftness. They also remind me of my favourite books, characters that stray away from what is correct or need to defend themselves with a weapon. One of my knives is actually one I imagine being from a book I read called 'Descended into the fallen realm'. It is about this women who had fallen into a cavern and into hell. She needed to start killing to survive and escape. It is a good book, I'd recommend it. It even has a good twist which I won't spoil."

"I will pick it up. I'm guessing knowing you it's a horror novel?" Monika asked with a smile and was met with a nod from the other. Monika didn't dislike horror books, in fact it would be ironic if she did compared to what she did in real life. Monika however stuck to fantasy books and had read a few romance, or well one pure romance that she loved.

Monika walked to a chair and sat down, Yuri in the other as they talked for a while about books. Exchanging what series they'll be looking forward to and what they need to read. When it was time to go Monika gave Yuri a tight hug and smiled.

"I'll see you tomorrow." She smiled. As Yuri smiled back Monika began to walk home, to the dreaded place. Nothing was wrong with her family but it was the thought that they didn't really exist and neither did she. She sighed as she came to the front door. Her home was nothing that stood out, it was something that was the norm in the area.

"I'm back!" Monilka shouted to the house as she walked in, taking her shoes off at the front, walking to the living room. Her mother was in but her father wasn't, he must have left for work. Her mother was what she took the most resemblance from, her mother had the same colour hair as her but instead of Monika's, hers was cut shorter. She had green eyes and a sweet smile.

"I was getting worried, it was getting late." Her mother spoke with a concern in her voice.

"I was just at Yuri's house mom, sorry I didn't tell you first." Monika smiled as she apologised, sitting on the couch. "Oh, not only that but I decided to pick up piano."

"Is it okay though? On top of being a president of a club and your school work?" The problem with Monika's mother was that she was easily worried and protective. Monika knew she did not need protecting from anyone, if anything people had to be protected from her.

"Its fine, I mean I even wrote a song and everything! Besides, it's fun." What Monika didn't add was how it was a part of her holding onto Alexis. Monika spent the evening with her mother and after dinner went into her room.

The walls of her room were a pale orange and so was the carpet, she had a small desk to the side that had a computer on it and another desk that had papers on it, like Yuri's they were scattered onto it. Her bed was to the edge of the room, it was a single bed and close to the ground. She laid on her bed with a sigh and checked the files to see Alexis replied again, Monika felt a giddy feeling that she knew she shouldn't feel.

 _'I hope you do mean friends Monika, because I don't think I could see you the same after everything. Also still playing piano? That's pretty cool I guess, you are good at it! Don't feel bad either, I mean I see why though. Yuri is calm about things, I mean from what I experienced on the first run before you messed with things. Also I guess I can say some stuff about myself…I'm male and my name is John but you can call me Alexis if you want.'_

Monika smiled as she read it, and imagined a keyboard in front of her and reached into the file she made.

 _'Yes, I know I shouldn't feel bad but I do. I went to her home today you know. She did have her knife collection but they were beautiful knives, you have no idea how I thought back to then…How do you manage? Also John? That's a lovely name, I can call you what you want. I mean it isn't like we'd see each other in real life. Perks of being stuck inside of a game I guess ha ha.'_

Monika made sure to leave out certain things, such as her taking the role as the protagonist and her saving into her own files. She dreaded to think what would happen if she told him, how would he react? Certainly not happily about it, maybe he'd accuse her of something? Either way she didn't know so it was best to play safe.

Monika smiled sadly as she exited the file she made and fell asleep, ready for the next day and in anticipation of his reply. She didn't think he'd be called John, but she was getting to know him. Not as a creepy lover who will kill anyone to get closer to their lover but as a friend.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Heyo, back with the next chapter! I did say I'd get better with the time frame it would take me to write these, yay! Anyways usual disclaimer, I do not own Doki Doki Literature Club, although it would be cool if it was. See you in the next chapter my awesome peeps ^_^**

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As day broke into the room Monika woke up and as soon as she did so, she checked into the file she made, when she saw no replies she sighed and got out of bed. She was already in her uniform, not looking any different thanks to the games coding. Monika wished she did though, in this world though no one took notice of it. It was normal here. Odd how some things are seen as normal when Monika was sure in the real world it was be considered odd. She summoned the keyboard and opened the file.

 _'Oh and sorry to ask, can you find a way to add some different character sprites for me with different clothes? It's tiring with only one character model as you weren't programmed with a scene outside of school.'_

Monika sighed as she headed downstairs, ready for another day at school. She ate some breakfast, running to school with a piece of toast still in her mouth and managed to make it in on time. She didn't know why she was programmed to reach school just in time but hey, there was something she couldn't control.

As lessons went on she did the work with ease, having a good intellect, that and lessons were always the same. It wasn't really programmed any differently. At least she would know everything for tests. By the time lunch came around she sat on the middle table and checked the files again, nothing. She sighed again, why was it he wasn't replying to her yet? Monika was dragged out of her thoughts as Yuri sat next to her.

"Hello Monika. Why are you alone today?" Yuri asked as she took out her lunch box.

"Well I would sit with you all but if you see just across the room…" She gestured there where Sayori was opposite on the table so she was facing Monika. Sayori who was usually so cheerful seemed to be glaring at Monika and Natsuki sat with her back turned. "I don't seem to be welcome anymore, not that I blame them of course."

"Even so, it is rather cold to shut you out like that. I know you hurt us, but in a way you never did as we are here now and alive. I believe in second chances, I think they should also." Yuri smiled at Monika as she ate her lunch. Monika smiled back with a small blush as she ate hers.

"Still, I can't blame them. They know I killed them and Sayori has it worse. When the user deleted me first hand before forcing me back in, Sayori remembered everything as she became the president. Now she was reminded of it, I suspect she remembers it all." Monika sighed as she looked at Sayori, who was still glaring at Monika. "But you know, happy thoughts." Monika laughed a little knowing full well what the joke was behind that, Yuri of course wouldn't.

"Of course. Did you get any more messages from the user?" Yuri asked with a curious tone. Monkia nodded, thinking about last night.

"He said his name was John also that you were a very calm person and how I shouldn't feel guilty." Monika shrugged, it was hard for her not to feel bad. She put her lunchbox in her bag.

"Well John is right, you shouldn't feel bad. It's okay to feel some regret but if you let it dwell on you too much it'll start harming your health soon enough. I don't know what you are going through but it's okay. If no one forgives you, know you have me." Yuri smiled again as she looked over to the other two, then Sayori had looked away from them.

"Thank you Yuri. I don't deserve your kindness." Monika smiled with a blush still on her cheeks, she didn't know why she was feeling this way to the other. She couldn't have this warm fuzzy feeling.

Not to Yuri. Not to the one she made stab herself. Monika imagined the menu screen and in the same slot she saved her progress in the classroom with Yuri, she saved her progress here.

The rest of the day was boring lessons and since it was a Thursday, there was no clubs on. So instead Monika sat in the classroom alone, knowing no one would come out, no one would even be in the school anymore, knowing no one should even be in here. Monika sighed as he looked to the table and opened her file and smiled as she saw John's reply.

 _'Did you? I mean I thought the whole knife thing was your doing but it's cool to see she actually likes it and not a thing from you. No offense. Uh, also sure! I can do it but it'll take a bit of editing but I think I can manage. Anything in mind or want me to surprise you?'_

 _'Um, I want you to surprise me. Also it's fine. I know I messed up badly. Yuri is the only one to forgive me, Sayori seems to be glaring at me now, which I understand honestly. Also I hope you don't mind but I need to just vent out a little. I mean, I just feel the odd one out here. I feel I don't truly belong here if you know what I mean. I know I am in a game and all but no one else does and in all honesty I'm scared. What if I lose control of myself again? What if I just lose sight of this reality and erase it again?'_

Monika felt safe saying her thoughts to John as she knew he couldn't tell anyone and if he did, it wasn't like she would see anyone he could tell. She was just in a game after all. Besides, she didn't want to keep it all locked inside of her as she knew just how well that went last time.

Monika stood up and sighed, walking out of the empty class and outside of the school. She walked in the streets looking around at the bland scenery, it was odd how she was seeing things that not even the user would but in any case she was glad. If Monika had to see nothing but black or white she would go insane. If she wasn't insane already.

Monika stopped walking as she came across a cat and walked to it and as she bent down to pet it, the cat ran away. She sighed as she figured even animals were smart enough to go without interacting with her. Monika stood back up and meandered around until she realised where she ended up, Sayori's place. Monika stood there as her eyes met with Sayori's before she entered the house.

"What do you want?" She spoke, it was not usual you would hear hostility in her tone but Monika knew why.

"I never meant to be here. I was merely walking." Monika sighed as she gave a gentle gaze to the other.

"Yuri may have forgiven you and see's you being kind but I won't. You hurt us, you made me and Yuri kill ourselves. Not to mention Alexis had to see it all and he is no longer here. With me. That is how it should be, just me and him. Just Sayori." The words Sayori spoke made Monika shake her head in disagreement.

"No. I once thought that. That only me and John should be together but think of this. What if he didn't want any of us? What if we were meant to be the friends? Also not to mention I regret my actions then and I will not repeat them." Monika took a few steps closer to Sayori who giggled a little, a smile on place.

"You know I felt something in the game earlier, twice actually. Would you know anything about saving?" Sayori asked with an innocent tone. "If you don't plan on doing anything why are you messing with the files more? Why are you saving? That is for Alexis to do, not you."

"It is complicated. I hope you will forgive me one of these days of what I did to you. To everyone, but if I can do anything to make it up to you I'll do it." What Sayori replied with after spoke really wasn't what she expected at all. Something she had to think twice if Sayori really asked it or not.

"Make me club president. Then I can control the files that way. I can be sure the world is safe and that you won't tamper with anything." Sayori smiled sweetly. "So? What'll it be? Give me full control instead of me just remembering and have me forgive you or me remembering everything but not forgive you ever?"


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Apologies on the lateness, I was uh...doing things. *Procedes to look at coursework due in I need to do as deadlines are in very soon* I managed to get this one done though for you all despite that as I really do enjoy writing this for you all, so I hope you guys enjoy it despite my lateness thanks to work and serious procrastination. As always I do not own Doki Doki Literature Club. See you in the next chapter my awesome peeps ^_^**

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Monika looked at Sayoi, frozen in shock. Give up her position? Could she even do that? Monika doubted if she even could, even so, she wouldn't give it up. Sayori was certainly not one to use it responsibly, especially not with her thought process right now. It worried Monika that Sayori was acting as she once did.

"Then hate me forever. I can't give up my power, not to you, not like this. Please, this isn't you Sayori." Monika sighed. She couldn't risk everyone's lives.

"What do you know about me? Aside with how you messed with my coding. How much do you know?" Sayori spoke with a glare, being covered with a smile. "Besides. At least I won't delete everyone I know."

"But you will. Jo-The user won't like that you know." Monika cursed mentally, she couldn't slip up on his actual name. Not to Sayori. It would be best for now to withhold information from her to try and stop her being so fixated on him. Especially with her anger.

"The user? You are bringing him into this? Alexis is my best friend. He'll understand." Sayori smiled sweetly. "Besides he can't get mad at me, I won't give him the option to."

"Exactly! You can't just do that." Monika knew that was a weak argument seeing how she did that and forced John to choose answers that she wanted. It seemed Sayori picked on her weak argument.

"Oh? But you did that, don't you remember? Look, if you aren't going to give me the power then leave. I want nothing of it okay? However talk to me next when you change your mind." Sayroi smiled as she entered her home.

Monika walked back to her home, thinking about how stupid she was. Why did she visit Sayori? What good came out of it? Well it helped Monika see how the others mind set was, not that it was anything good though. When she got home she sat on the couch and spaced out, opening her folder. No reply. She imagined her keyboard, she needed to get this out of her system.

'John…I need help. I'm sorry to rant again but honestly I have no one I can turn to. I saw Sayori today and well…she wants my position in the club. Meaning she would get my ability to edit the game files. She isn't her though, more like who I was. She's fixated on you and I just…I just don't know what to do anymore.'

Monika sighed as she closed the file and opened another file, playing some music from it, your reality. She wanted at least some noise to fill the home. As she sat for a while she felt something, something changed. Monika on instinct tried to open the menu. However she couldn't. She then opened the games file, more importantly her file, there was a reply. Only one though.

'I'm coming back.'

That made her smile a little as she closed her eyes a little. Of course he would return after what she was saying. Monika stood up, turning the music off and headed off to the school. Knowing the whole thing would be set back, set to before she did everything. However something wasn't right. As she walked outside, the world was glitching at the seams. She knew something was not right here.

Monika made it to the school, heading to the school club room where stood there was John, well Alexis. He looked more or less generic. Short black hair and a regular male uniform in a typical Japanese high school. She had an idea as she edited the coding again, to allow him to type freely to her through the game. Causing her character sprite to glitch. It was not comfortable as so to speak.

"Monika?!" Alexis spoke, his voice was also generic for a person. It made Monika wonder why she had feelings for him when he was this forgettable and also how he never really talked to her.

"I̵'̶m̵ ̸f̶i̴n̵e̶." She spoke, her voice also glitching. Maybe the fact he returned wasn't a good idea, or even editing the world more to fit him.

"But you're glitching! I mean, sure I'm used to it but it's not good. Maybe I should leave but…"

"N̶o̴!̵ ̷I̷t̶'̷s̴ ̸f̶i̶n̴e̷!̷ ̸P̵l̵e̷a̴s̶e̸ ̸d̵o̸n̴'̸t̵ ̶l̵e̸a̶v̸e̶ ̸m̸e̴.̵ ̵N̵o̵t̴ ̸y̵e̶t̶ ̷a̶n̶y̶w̸a̶y̵s̵,̵ ̸b̶e̴s̵i̶d̸e̴s̴ ̴w̵e̸ ̴s̴h̷o̸u̸l̸d̴ ̷b̵e̵ ̴f̶i̵n̸e̴ ̶a̷n̴d̸ ̷a̷l̸o̵n̵e̷ ̴f̶o̸r̷ ̵n̵o̸w̶.̷ ̵I̸ ̷d̷o̷u̵b̶t̵ ̶S̵a̷y̶o̴r̵i̵ ̵c̸a̴n̷ ̵m̴a̷k̴e̷ ̵i̶t̶ ̸h̴e̸r̵e̴ ̴w̴i̴t̴h̸ ̸t̸h̴e̶ ̵w̴o̴r̷l̷d̸ ̵a̸s̴ ̸i̶t̶ ̸i̵s̵." Monika sighed. It seemed she was still glitching, her guess was because she was around the user and he wasn't meant to be here anymore. As Monika had replaced him.

"I know but" He was cut off and that confused Monika until after a while John spoke up again. "Sorry, mom walked in then. As I was saying, I can't risk your file. You're my friend and I want to help you out here and I just…worry."

The fact John was worried about Monika made her smile softly, despite her glitches. She then thought back to Sayori. She had to keep them apart somehow, well it was easy. It seemed when he was here, it was to glitch filled to do anything and Sayori can't access the files to read their conversations.

"So about with everything going on. Do you think we can save Sayori? I mean…I saved you didn't I?"

"Y̵e̴s̷ ̸b̷u̵t̶…̴I̵t̸ ̴i̷s̸ ̴h̴a̷r̸d̵e̶r̶ ̵f̵o̵r̵ ̸h̸e̸r̴.̷ ̷A̷f̶t̷e̷r̵ ̶w̶h̵a̷t̵ ̴I̴ ̶d̶i̴d̴ ̴t̷o̶ ̷h̸u̸r̸t̸ ̸h̸e̸r̷…̴" Monika trailed off, she knew why Sayori was how she was. Even if it was worrying for her.

"I know…Please don't keep blaming yourself Monika. I forgive you, Yuri forgives you. I would hug you to help comfort but uh…I only have the option to type freely to speak so I can't. Ha, ha." It was clear the ha, ha was meant to be laughter so Monika did what she thought to do. She hugged John. Well Alexis.

She quickly let go, as both her character and Alexis glitched. It was clear that they should not be in contact physically. Monika wished the game wasn't this broken, broken enough to cause this reaction to the user coming in. All because Alexis didn't technically belong in the game now she was the protagonist. Alexis was just a placeholder so John could insert himself into the world.

"Monika…I know me being here is causing this so I'll make it short. I came here personally to tell you something face to face. Or as face to face as it can be." There was a short pause before he spoke up again. "I wanted to tell you that you don't have to blame yourself. If there is any way I can help you, I will. But for now, I would say keep what you have. Don't try to overexert yourself, I mean you have Yuri and me, two is better than none. So uh, because I can't emote I'll have to say it I guess. Smiley face."

Monika laughed at that as she took a few more steps back, she had to admit it. John was right. She wasn't alone here, but also that she could talk to him about anything. Although that thought was dismissed when she thought of the saves she was doing. Monika knew she had to keep it to herself on that one.

"T̵h̸a̵n̸k̸ ̷y̵o̵u̴ ̴J̷o̴h̸n̷ ̷I̴ ̴r̴e̸a̸l̷l̷y̵ ̵m̴e̸a̶n̵ ̴i̴t̵.̴ ̸I̴ ̶j̸u̵s̴t̷ ̷n̸e̶v̸e̴r̴ ̶t̸h̶o̶u̷g̷h̵t̵ ̷I̷ ̸w̴o̷u̶l̷d̸ ̶h̷a̷v̶e̴ ̵t̸o̵ ̷d̴e̶a̷l̷ ̵w̸i̸t̷h̸ ̵t̴h̵i̷s̴.̶ ̶O̴h̷ ̶u̷h̴…̸h̷o̵w̷ ̶i̷s̸ ̸t̷h̶e̷ ̸c̸l̵o̴t̸h̷i̷n̴g̷ ̶g̶o̷i̸n̵g̶ ̷a̷l̷o̴n̴g̸?̴" She asked, trying to change the subject from the talk of her friendships.

"Oh, pretty well actually. I was going to ask though so might as well while I'm here. What's your favourite colour?" The question John asked stumped her. She didn't have a set favourite, or one she thought of.

"I̵ ̵l̶i̴k̷e̶ ̷e̴m̴e̷r̶a̴l̵d̴ ̷g̷r̷e̶e̷n̷.̶" She settled on saying. She liked that colour as it was the one of her eyes after all.

"Got you. Smiley face." After some more laughing from Monika John spoke up again. "I'm going now okay? You're glitching enough as it is and well…Mom is also yelling at me that dinner is ready so yeah. I'll talk in the file tomorrow though." With a nod from Monika, John was gone. Yet the glitches remained on her and in the surroundings.


End file.
